**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
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the liver wants what the liver wants
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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