we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
