i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
