Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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