i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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