it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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