it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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