I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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