it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
