idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize