Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
