I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
