i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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