If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
this hospital has no fireball
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
