I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
