He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
