Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
