i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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