wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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