I didn't shave. On purpose
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
