Where did you get a picture of my penis
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
