I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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