Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm like, not good at living.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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