Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's blow job season.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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