Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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