Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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