I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
