Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize