Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
