she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't deserve a penis
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I have post one night stand depression
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