i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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