seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
