you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
