Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
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I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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