My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
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No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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