is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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