What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
