she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
