3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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