i need an iv and a liver transplant
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
