so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
