? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
