I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
