Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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