She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Everyone says I win the strip club
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
