Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
