Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize