put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Randomize
