Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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