They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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