Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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