This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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