Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
