No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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