i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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