Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize