So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
