If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
