I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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