i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
