We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
