grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
