loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize