NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
