Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
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I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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